BOOBIES! Oh, and a Chicken.
The summer is well underway at last, and its time for serious fun and play time. But for some of us the summer brings stress and surgery and uncertainty.
My dear friend Jane is having her implant swap on Tuesday. Another wonderful friend, Heather, is dealing with the choices and heartache of her approaching surgery date. Sweet Kay is doing well with her expanders, but will be soon facing her implant swap as well. My heart aches for them, and I am sending my thoughts and hugs and kisses to them as they go through each of these steps in the journey. I love you ladies.
And I just received my packet of insurance paperwork for my new job. Although my new coverage wont go into effect until September or October, it was so exciting to get that paperwork. At first I was so excited, thinking YAY! I’m close to my implant swap! Then I thought, SHIT! I’m clost to my implant swap!
The expanders are awful and uncomfortable and make me feel kind of freakish. BUT to get through the implant swap I have to go through another surgery, and my last one was pretty awful. Then there was the blood clot. All in all, it was probably the worst time in my life and I am tough enough to admit that I am frankly chicken of my implant swap. Everyone tells me it will be better, and it’s not so bad, but it doesn’t matter, I’m pretty frightened.
How can I be so excited and so frigthened at the same time? It’s the strangest thing. It’s not like doing a ropes course, walking a tight wire high in the trees. That’s simple, besides you have a safety line. There’s no safety line with surgery. What if it doesn’t go well? What if I have a reaction to the implants? What if, what if, what if?
All I know is that it’s on the horizon, the day I go back to the doctor and get cut again, and they say afterwards I’ll feel like a woman again. Or at least be able to sleep through the night without pain or discomfort after I heal. I am looking forward to that part, but I am so frightened of the surgery. At least I have a couple of months to try to get mentally ready for another surgery. Then there will only be one more to follow.
I’m thrilled to have reduced my breast cancer risk from 40% to less than 2%, but I’m not excited to have surgery again.
Sigh. It’s more than worth it, but I’m still a chicken!
Michelle, I feel as you do both excited and nervous about the swap of the expanders to implants. Like i told you this will be done at the plastic surgeon’s office in his surgery suite. They only have a nurse anesthesis. This means no general anesthetic like in a hospital setting. This makes me nervous. They will be using Propofol for anesthesia. It gets you to sleep and then they use a local on the incisions to help with the pain there. They said that once i am awake i will be able to leave in 15 minutes to 1/2 and go home. We plan on staying the night in a hotel in seattle that night . Shorter car ride for me, Then if pain control issues there is a ER right across the street. That alone would help knowing that they are there if needed,My hardest part is letting someone else have control of my sedated body. My nerves are a little shot today . Need to go shopping to get some comfortable clothes to wear to the office for the day. Please everyone say a prayer that everything goes as planned and that they keep the pain to a level that i can handle it.
Take care and Hugs to all. XOXOXOX
June 6, 2010 at 1:16 am
No Michele, you’re not chicken! I feel the same about surgeries and anaesthesia.That scares me more than anything. I still have 1 more fill which will HOPEFULLY get me up to 450ml,but my implants will be about 1/3 smaller in size =(
Thats the trouble with getting the Allergan 410′s~you have to allow for enough shrinkage so as to avoid contracture.
Good luck with your exchange Jane and let me know when you get a date Michele!
xxxx
June 6, 2010 at 6:07 am
Michelle, I just had my double masectomy with immediate reconstruction 3 weeks ago. I just had my first fill on Friday, not too much pain from the fill, but I agree with you, the expanders themselves feel weird and it is hard for me to sleep. I am also scared of the swap surgery but we have all come this far. I see that you said that you developed a blood clot, can you tell me a little bit about that. I have developed a thrombrosis under my breast after surgery, but my doctor is telling me it is nothing to worry about, I am very concerned of this.
I think we are all very afraid of everything we have to go through with this and we all call ourselves chicken, but when it all comes down to it, we are all very brave courageous ladies. Thank you for this site, you are helping woman like us everywhere. Denise
June 7, 2010 at 10:43 am
Hey Michele,I hope your feeling well,happy for you on your surgery date,I cant wait till i get to swap out the expanders they are so painfull! hope all’s well and i’am praying for all the Ladies going though this. Take care and thanks for all you do
Kellie
June 7, 2010 at 10:45 am
Hi to all
I just had my expander swap surgery on the 8th. I was all stressed out for a week before. I had surgery at the plastic surgeons office with Propofol sedation. During the surgery they put local around the area which lasted 4-5 hours afterwards. Then i was given pain medication which i took for 4 days. Now on ibuprofen during the day and one pain pill at night to help with sleep. I stayed in a hotel in Seattle the night of surgery in case i was hurting and did not want to get stuck in traffic. I went took an hour nap and then my husband, sister and i went to dinner at the Cheesecake factory.
It was a lot less painful than i thought it would be. They are so much more comfortable than the expanders. I wish all of you the best of luck in your journey. If there are any questions i can answer please let me know.
Thanks for all the well wishes!
Thank you so much Michelle for doing this awesome website and team. You are definitely a very courageous person.
Jane
June 14, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Hi Michelle,
I am so thankful for your website. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on February 25th and am having a bilateral mastectomy on Wednesday, June 23rd. I agree with you on feeling “chicken”. I was okay until the day of my surgery drew closer. I hate going under general anesthesia, it makes me feel so helpless. I am glad that I can come to this website for support and listen to the stories of other woman experiencing breast cancer treatments. Much luck to everyone. I pray for each and every one of you.
Tracey
June 21, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Hi to Tracey,
I just read that you are having surgery. You are in my thoughts and prayers that everything goes extremely well. Hang in there and take one day at a time. Michele is doing such an awesome job with this web site. She has so much courage, just doing the videos so that women going thru the surgery have some realistic idea of what is going to happen during and after their surgery.
Take care and here is best wishes to all.
Jane
June 23, 2010 at 8:09 pm