A Man’s Thoughts About Courage Is My Strength
As a man, and admittedly, a breast man, I had mixed feelings about following your blog and videos. But as a husband and father of girls, I had to admit that the fear of breast cancer is one of the things that keeps me awake at night, and I thought I should learn all I could “just in case”, kinda like the reason I purchased and learned how to use a gun, but that’s a whole other discussion.
Having had two surgeries to remove a testicular cancer, I thought I could relate on some level. Well, apart from letting someone cut on a part of my body which both nature and society teach me to protect, I can’t relate. I still have my balls, and have since fathered 2 kids. Also, when I tell other men about my ordeal, it’s always a , “Whoa, dude…you’re so tough…” moment. No one ever questions my decision to have the surgery. No one ever compares it to a broken arm or sports injury. Someone will crack a crude joke or two and then we change the subject.
Clearly, things are different for men. To us, breasts are something to look at and play with, interactive toys, like a sexual Wii. We don’t generally see them as a part of a whole person. We are not comfortable talking about feelings or fears, Oh we have have them, but to talk about them is grounds for having to turn in your man card; it’s just not done.
I pray that my wife and girls will never have to fight this particular dragon. But if they do, I am grateful for women like you, who have both the courage and audacity to share both the story of both their hearts and bodies with the world. You have educated and inspired me to change my thinking, ( a little, I’m still a man after all). By sharing, you have made the world a better place.
Feel free to edit or ignore this as you see fit. Just wanted to share with you and say thanks. Your courage had been my strength too. After the mess with YouTube, I’ve realized that ppl can can look at the same thing, but see something completely different. This has inspired me to share some of my own thoughts with you. Feel free to put some or all of this in your blog, I just ask that you would keep my name private. I’m not as brave as you are.
Letter From A Friend – Simo from YouTube
Hi Michelle, I have just recently had a beautiful close friend 37yrs young, same age as you, face a single breast mastectomy As a mere male, I had an idea of the basics of the ins and outs of process. I wanted more understanding, so to the web, then youtube, it stunned me and really opened my eyes to just what is involved, I found your site, and so sincerely thank you for sharing your story, your journey, with me to understand what is involved. as a male it is invaluable. Thank you Simo.
Letters From Friends – An Amazing Note From YouTube
I’m 14 and I watched this and was TOTALLY inspired! If I ever have breast cancer I hope I’m as brave as you.
Letters From Friends – Eva via YouTube
Hi Michelle,
I read on your blog that your next surgery to remove the expanders and put in the implants is gonna be October 15th….well, I wanna let you know that I’ll be going through surgery the 12th! Bilateral mastectomy and they are going to place the expanders in the same surgery.
I was diagnosed with DCIS on May this year, when I had my biopsy. After so many months and reading/searching for information and seeing doctors for opinions…I ended up in a specialized hospital for cancer. They did an MRI study cause my tissue is very dense, therefore difficult to “read”. They found out that the disease was multicentric and bilateral! You can imagine the shock after I had made the decision to go for an oncoplastic surgery and radiation therapy.
This been a roller coaster of emotions since day one but I’m dealing with it pretty good and I’m becoming stronger everytime. I think NOW I’m ready for whatever it has to come.
I think you are a very corageous girl, thanks for doing what you are doing. You are really helping a lot of women out there (plus putting up with unsensitive people which I’m sure there’s got to be some out there too). The important thing is….that you are helping other women going through their process.
I really hope that your surgery is a big success and that everything comes out very well and that you are happy with the results….but above all, that you recover quickly and live a long healthy life. Take care girl and be blessed on your journey,
Eva
P.S. any suggestion or recommendation on implants? I have heard that they expire at some point and you need to change them….what would be the safest implants? (quality)
Everything Happens For A Reason – Letters From Friends
Often people express that they don’t understand why I posted videos of my body on YouTube. Not only is it obviously extremely personal to show your nude body to unknown people online, but some people think it’s even stranger behavior because of the condition of my body (side note here, I personally think I would be really freakish if I were showing a normal body, but that’s just my opinion).
Today I received a post on my YouTube page that expresses exactly why I did what I did, and will continue to do so. I am so sorry that this woman went through so much alone, but I’m so proud that I helped when I could. And it’s so powerful to hear her say “I am now cancer free”.
U have helped me more than u will ever know. I found out I had breast cancer n May of this yr. I was so scared. Let alone the fact they wanted 2 take my breast. I’m 31 & emotional roller coaster doesn’t even begin 2 describe how I felt. Then I came across your video on youtube. I watched all I could find about u & your journey. Your videos helped me so much. I went through with the surgery & I am now cancer free. I had my last expantion today. U r an amazing woman & truely my hero.
I believe that having the strength to step off the ledge and do the almost unthinkable of showing my scars and body on the internet is why this has happened to me, and that I was given the challenges I have had so that I could help others. It has not been easy, but I am so thankful for my path. And these women have touched my life so much more than I have touched theirs, they have made me a better person. I am thankful, no matter what.
Letters From Friends – Lynda Via YouTube
Michelle
Thank you for having the courage to post these videos. I am going through a similar experience and stumbled upon your postings days prior to my bilateral mastectomy. It helped me understand what was instore for me. It’s been a few weeks since there was an update about your condition…how are you? Do you still have expanders in?
It’s been 7 days since my surgery, still dealing wth drains (4) that make me feel like an octopus, and I feel like my chest area is clamped in a vice.
Letters From Friends – Del Via YouTube
i was just diagnosed with breast cancer
Do you think it’s better to just get both breasts removed? Were you diagnosed on one or both? My surgeon said I couldn’t get the reconstruction for a year since I had to heal..how did you get yours done so quickly? I’m sorry for all the questions, I’m just curious and really dont know anyone who has gone through this. I really appreciate you posting something on youtube, thanks to you I do have some hope that I may look normal again.
Del
Letters From Friends – Chris Via YouTube
hey there. 
you’re something else! it takes a lot of swallowing your feelings and pain to get through what your doing. i don’t even know you but damn im sure you can get through anything. it’s just down right amazing to see how you make these videos and hold back your true feelings. women all around the world could learn from your power and strength….
good luck to you, if it makes a difference at all… i’m another supporter of you and what you’rer trying to do here. i look forward to see you doing well
best wishes to ya
-C
Letters From Friends – Bori Via YouTube
Thank you…
Letters From Friends – New Me Now Via YouTube (Breast Exam Video)
Thank you! And I am greatful that you did this clothed as I am posting this in a playlist that I hope to share with women who are religiouly conservative and as they are from a various backgrounds and levels of sensibilities, I am most greatful. God bless you and thanks again.
Letters From Friends – C Bracken Via YouTube
Michelle – Your story is so powerful and touching. It hits home for me in the fact I just found out that I have to get a mastectomy and I’m scared to death. But after viewing your video I have a bit more strength. Thank you for sharing and helping others that are/will/might go through this.
Letters From Friends – Jim Via YouTube
You are a beautiful women and hang in there. My wife had this done four years ago. It is great you have the courage to do this video.
Letters From Friends – Rubin Via YouTube
You are one the most real person I have ever met!
Letters From Friends – Russell Via YouTube
Hello. You were a huge inspiration to my mother in-law when she made the decision to have the same procedure done. You do have a great deal of courage, and I think theirs something to be said for that. In addition, your husband should be given a well deserved thanks for not only supporting your choice to have the operations, but for also being humble with regard towards your highly regarded videos. As a man, I can unfortunately admit that a lot of men simply wouldn’t understand. Thank you for sharing your experience with other women who aren’t as open. Also, I admire you for being so optimistic even though it seems that things haven’t been ideal. (i.e. exposed stitches, infections, the loss of your nipples, and the large scar.) I don’t quite understand why the scars had to be as large as they are, but I am not a doctor. I wish the very best for you. Stay strong and continue to fight!
Most Sincerely,
Russell
Letters From Friends – From Sue in CA
It is impossible to tell you how much you helped me. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in Dec 2010 and had bi lateral surgery on June 18. They didn’t think I would need expanders so was not prepared for the afteremath. I was in a verydeep depression thinking I would never look okay again. After viewing your videos I had hope agait hit me that I would be okay again. I’m 67 years old and have been involved in off road since 1972. We support Mag 7 pitting orignazation. My son competes with a 2-1600 usually with score or a few times with core.
You are an inspriation. Thank you very much
Letters From Friends – From Susan in WI
I have been getting so many wonderful letters from women and men all over, I wanted to start posting them here. Many share what they are going through, and together we may be able to help each other out. This is a letter from Susan in Wisconsin.
Hello Michele!,
I want you to know I definetly think you did the right thing in getting your surgery. My husband called me from his work the other day and told me to go into your website. At 47 years old, I had been dealing with similar to what you have for the last number of years. I had several biopsies over the last few years and they had all come back negative. One of the last biopsy surgeries resulted in having 1/3 of my left breast removed. That side of my breast stayed tender longer then it should have after surgery. By that same incision area, 6months later, I felt another lump and unfortunately it wasn’t scar tissue. I just knew something wasn’t right. :/ This was a new lump that had formed (in that orignal surgery area) along with several in the other breast. I decided to have a needle biopsy done this time instead having more tissue removed.
We all thought it was again nothing to worry about.
We were wrong. This lump was cancer.
The doctor/surgeon gave me a few options. I could have a lumpectomy, but chances are the cancer would come back and I would have to have radiation (which I found out can scar your skin so bad that you cannot have reconstructive surgery) or have a left side mastectomy and right side prophlastic mastectomy. The mastectomies would give me a 5% chance of the cancer reaoccuring.
Of course I immediatly decided on the mastectomies. I kind of knew this was all going happen. Everyone was surprised on how I handled it, not me…the surgery had to be done. I talked to alot of nurse friends and friends. They shared several experiences with me.
That next Monday (9Aug10), I had the mastectomies/exspander surgery. We were happy to get the news and my surgeon was happy to tell us, that it wasn’t in my lymph nodes. Yay! The tissue from both breasts were then sent in to a another further lab and final tissue results came back yesterday. When my surgeon called I was told the right breast (because of the type of tissue it was) would have turned to cancer.
The left breast tissue showed the cancer up to the margins. So I have to go back in for another surgery. :/ All I could think of is there goes our long awaited family camping vacation (which we all so desperately needed) gone!
After being home with these uncomfortable expanders, I wondered how long the whole process is really going to take.
I now worry about our 20 year old daughter. She started getting a few tumors/cysts at the age of 17 :/. Her biopsies have come back negative, but if they became larger-(because of the type they were) would have turned to cancer.
Thank goodness, our other 15 year old daughter has not yet felt anything suspicious yet.
These stories are probably very similar to alot in which you have heard. You really are courageous and made the right decision in having the preventative, double prophylastic mastectomy surgery.
I am so glad that you have done these videos to help all of us. Why play Russian Roulette? That is what cancer is to me.
If we can prevent it, we must. It is not just about us, but the ones we love.
My husband is my high school sweetheart. We have been thru alot together and plan to have alot more years together. He has been more then wonderful and supportive and all my friends and family have too. If people are not, then shame on them! This is reality folks. The surgery is painful, but the pain is worth it. I think that people really do think that it will never happen to them, but then it does. It truly is a fight and it does take courage. It is something that has to be dealt with and not ignored. If caught early enough, treated.
I really think God does have a plan for each of us. Michele, I admire your courage and making the right choice for surgery. With this decision, you have become a encouraging spokesperson for us all! I’m sure others who are watching (or will be) watching your video will feel the same also. I will continue to watch any updates. I am wondering how the tatoo process is done. It’s only been a week since my surgery and I am already to get things back to normal! :/ I only wish things could go faster. :/
Thank you Michele,
Susan Skopek- Germantown Wi.
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